Down

Is it too late to say happy new year? Well, happy new year then :)
its been so long since I updated this blog. I have a lotto talk to, but my lips are sealed.
sigh.. where should i start?

Lately, I've been feeling so lonely. I got a lot of friends, obviously. But then.. all my best friend are seems to disappeared from my sight. First, who else? Kenneth, my ex-best friend and also my ex-boyfriend, one of the best man I've ever know. He's one of few the people that could understand me. I loved him sincerely and wholeheartedly, its still hurt to remember that we broke up because of simple thing, when we still loved each other. Since last October  he's been gone, he never replied any of my messages and chats. He event went to Malaysia and he never told me. the funny thing is, when I want to Malacca, I plan to stay over, but then I cancel it. Funny thing is, he went there the next day, and also when I went to batam, I tried to call him before I go back to Malaysia, and the operator say that the number is wrong, when my friend call him in the same time and it was connected. Its like every universe is cooperate to ensure that I never meet him. I don't know Sometimes.. I just want to talk to him.. I miss our silly jokes and our laugh. We promised that we could still be friends and I really want that to happen.. I don't know what I did wrong to him, but I really want everything to come back before everything was started.. He's one of my best friend..
My another "best friend".. well, she's one of the longest friend  i have. Used to be my best, but know I barely talk to her.. I love her, but the I'm very disappointed with her. when I want to go to Bandung, I plan this trip from months ago, I already talked to her, and even change my departure date to meet her, but in the end she ditched me. She said that she already have earlier plans with her friends, I mean, I plan this from months ago, and I really hope to see her. Can she postpone it to meet me for just 1 day? I mean, she can meet her friend in other day right? When I heard the news, I already on my way to Bandung. I cried the whole trip, that the first time I cried in front of strangers.. but I cant handle it anymore. It's hurts you know?
and in twitter, she barely reply to my message, and she never tweet me, or even just to say hi, while I always see her chat with other people..
My friend in Malaysia? I know they love and appreciate me, then I heard my friend easily said that he want to move out because the rent is cheaper. I mean, we've been housemate for years, and in few months, we will be separated. We might never meet again after this.. But well, its just from me right?
Its only me that have this feeling.. and maybe he's not feeling the same..